Women’s Solidarity?
NOTES:
• There are power relationships between women.
• It can be more of a power struggle with women as we are more aware of position/ place with men (e.g. mother, lover/sexual, sister)
• May be struggling for male attention even if men are not present –
men as audience
- sexual competition for men.
• Power relationships changed after become a mother
- competition less as have mother’s role?
- when have a child seen as not needing men as already have one?
• Seen as a threat until introduce partner – pressure from society.
• Power struggles still in radical lesbian groups
- about being more radical?
- sexual tension and jealousy too.
• Competition between women is deeper than sexual identity – has the same root.
• Women who are in touch with their sexuality or ‘liberated’ are threatening to other women.
• Unable to make deep connections with other women because of an unspoken,
deep competition
- many women feel the same BUT it is too taboo to talk about issues.
• Lack of communication?
• Form of control?
• Don’t want to be a women?
- if not accepted by other women feel different?
- want to be male – more power in society etc.
- don’t want to be in oppressed group.
• Subtle envy = of men or women?
• Approval of men is more important than approval of women – only when a child?
• It is a tool of patriarchy to create and promote competition between women.
• Women relate to each other in relation to men – it helps to remove the ‘phantom’ man psychologically.
• Should not be about power over BUT power with.
• NOT ‘phantom’ man BUT idea of what want/should be – social expectations (e.g. physical).
• Ashamed of female stereotyping of cat-fighting and bitching = act differently in front of men (less powerful?)
• Feel people are angry with you for being a dominant women.
• Accepting hierarchical/patriarchal structure instead of creating a new one – constantly seek approval from someone above (a man?)
• Hurt most by women NOT men – girls/women know how to hurt each
other
= power.
- Easier to assert yourself to a man than to a women – scared of getting
really hurt by women?
• Recreating hierarchy in all female spaces (e.g. who is the most radical/strong/feminist.)
• Invest more time in being with women = positive
- only for lesbians?
• Create barriers = reproducing wider society (e.g. dress, knowledge, sexuality)
• More intense power structures in marginalised spaces
- more aware of suppression in wider society
- oppressed are more aware of the feelings of the oppressors
= intensified in microcosm.
• Hierarchical structures = biological?
- needed for survival?
• Check people out as possible sexual partner AND sexual threat.
• Natural feelings of competition forced underground as not socially acceptable for women – become twisted as not able to be expressed.
• Easier to gain small power victories than deal with larger power issues – squabble amongst yourselves rather than confront patriarchy.
• Learnt behaviours with men and women.
• No spaces to talk about relationships with women and pain inflicted on each other.
• Need to deal with things that stand in the way of solidarity BUT female spaces can be places for support and solidarity.
Women’s Solidarity? Part 2.
NOTES:
• Don’t talk about competition as assume there is solidarity and equality in feminist groups.
• Everyone knows that the dynamic is there BUT it is not talked about.
• Dynamic with older and younger women = difficult hierarchy and power
structures
- structure is obvious
- competition between younger women (e.g. for men) can be seen by older members
of the group.
• Women can be unsupportive in terms of knowledge
- you need to prove yourself
• Younger women/ those new to the group form bonds to the men first (sexual
or not)
- older/more experienced women are intimidating?
- Men are less threatening? – want their approval?
• Young women want personal relationships BUT hard to form with older women because of competition.
• Age differences = important and create divisions/barriers
• New women gain approval of men in group hierarchy by sleeping with them! = frustrating for older women.
• Friction based on sex – sexual conquest of male members.
• Younger women want to get to top of hierarchy – looking for male
approval (through sex)
- then feel threat from older women after they have hurt them
- OR vice versa?
• Hard to make friends with women in organisations/collectives
- not welcoming
- men are often first contact and more welcoming
- women should make the effort to be the first contact and be more welcoming.
• Established women in group hierarchy feel secure in own position and feel new women should work to be accepted = coldness at beginning.
• Women may be tired of new women sleeping with men in group
- want to wait until see if new woman will do this
- tired of emotional/sexual relationships in group
- men are behaving the same to all new women (e.g. flirting, seducing) –
women are tired of it and want to wait to see if women will fall for it! = need
to earn their respect.
• Men aware of power in these situations
- get away with it
- form of control.
• Women’s relationships pivot around men.
• Need to give invitations to new women as only men give invitations.
• Need to separate personal and political – sex gets in the way! = primal.
• Need to change behaviour and be rude to men – have to make obvious to men that are not interested in order to get close to women = gain respect and trust.
• Sexual competition = socially constructed and socialised
NOT just sex = power structures – hard to separate as have grown up with
structures.
• Power structures and hierarchy = natural OR socially constructed?
• Strategy: Set aside time in meetings to discuss dynamics.
• Need to be conscious that power relations exist
- support each other to confront them
- more open communication
• Power relations replicated in all spaces – need to be aware of them and deconstruct and defy them.
• Power relationship of educated and non-educated people = conflict.
- different forms of power dynamics (e.g. cultural, class/economic)
• Hierarchy = if you are oppressed you will oppress another to feel better about yourself.
Recommended book about this issue:
Catfight: Women and Competition by Leora Tanenbaum